Samui Holiday Homes - Koh Samui Villa Rentals - Ko Samui Villas

We foreigners are guests in Thailand. We should behave as guests to - be polite and try to understand our hosts and try not to offend them. You can read that in every tourist guide. It's true but the picture is a bit incomplete.

As far as the Thais go, we are their guests but we also are Farang (long noses) - strange beings from another planet. Like everywhere else in the world some guests are more welcome then others. We may not like the thought (especially if we do not belong to the group preferred) but that's what life is like in Thailand.

Please note: The concept of "equality" is foreign to Thai society. This does not mean that Thais treat each other without respect but generally speaking there are great class differences that are apparent to Thais in everyday life.
 

When Thais and Farangs get together there is a level of communication we Farangs visible to us and there is a lot of things only the Thai sees and hears. On the surface the atmosphere is friendly, all smiles and a couple of jokes. The Thai seems eager to please and gives us the feeling that he likes us. Don't confuse this attitude with friendship or closeness. The Thai is being polite, smiling and being friendly is a way of life in Thailand and does not tell you very much about how a Thai person really feels.

Let's look at these levels of communication in an example in daily life. A Farang is interested in something a Thai is selling. He asks the Thai about it. The Thai tries to understand. The Farang knows very little Thai and even if he knew more he would have trouble understanding the Thai's southern  dialekt. So the Farang starts to talk English - the trading language on Koh Samui. From the Thais point of view we are illiterate. He does the Farang a favor by trying to speak English but he can't do it very well. But remember, he's doing the Farang a favor.

The Farang, on the other hand, speaks English as a native language or has had years of classroom learning in English as a foreign language. He has a lot of trouble understanding the English spoken by our Thai merchant. Good God, his English is funny, what does he mean? Oh he means "quality" and that word means "low price"... It is almost impossible to find out more about the item. The Farang's Thai is non-existent and the Thai's English is limited. The Farang isn't getting anywhere. He thinks, "why can't this Thai speak better English?". The Thai keeps smiling and seems pleased to talk to the Farang. But he's probably thinking, "Another Farang, can't make up his mind, keeps asking me things and wasting my time instead of just buying or moving on".

The same situation - two perspectives.

The the climax: the price debate. The question "how much?" is always understood. The Thai gives you the Farang price. This is usually 50-100% more than a Thai would get. If the Farang pays the price then the Thai thinks, "well at least it was worth the trouble of speaking English and trying to understand what the Farang wants. The Farang is good for something."

The Farang keeps shopping. He goes into the next store and sees a similar item with a price tag - and the price is much lower than he has paid. He's furious. He calms himself with the thought, well it wasn't much money anyway.  He's humiliated because an "ignorant, illiterate Thai" has got the better of him. the Thai lied to him - "typically Thai". But he swears it won't happen to him again.

I've listened to a lot of discussions with Expats (Farangs who call Samui their home). When they talk about Thais it's always "that's typical". In their eyes Thais steal, con, are independable, lie, can't drive, don't work acurately, are lazy, sleep all day and on and on....

What do think comes to mind when Thais talk about Farang? Here is an excerpt: "Farang are really rich and haggle over 50 baht. Look at the way they dress and walk around - incredible! They lie in the sun and let it burn their skin. They drink alcohol all day. And they think we're stupid." The big difference is, a Thai would never let us know what they think. He would stay polite and smile.

This may sound extreme. But sometimes life is extreme on Koh Samui. Just don't forget: There are at least two ways of looking at things, the Farang way and the Thai way. Give the person on the "other side" the benefit of the doubt. Don't be arrogant, remember that you are rich compared to most Thais. If you want to buy something, shop around and compare prices and quality.

Don't criticize a Thai, especially if someone else is listening. Communication will end abrubtly if you do. "Losing face" is devastating for a Thai. If you really feel you need to criticize, do it very carefully, be friendly, avoid all personal references and don't ever be insulting or loud.

The following example really happened. It shows how not to do things. A Farang owner of a company wanted to have a connecting door to his next door office. Like a good Farang he made a precise drawing which showed where the door should be. It even had a Thai explanation. He gave it to the construction boss and went out to smoke a cigarette. When he came back the wall had a hole in it for the door - but not where the door was supposed to be. The Farang told the boss in front of the construction workers in no uncertain terms that he was not pleased. A few minutes later no construction worker and no boss were on the grounds. They just packed and left, without a word. The hole in the wall stayed - for three weeks. A relative of one of the construction boss's employees acted as a middleman and convinced the owner of the construction company to correct the mistake and finish the work.
 

Looking at someone directly is considered rude - or it means you want something particular. Thais feel uncomfortable when you look in their eyes when you talk to them. Please avoid it. When Thais talk to each other you can observe that they often look in a lot of different direction, but not at each other.
 

Touching someone in Thailand has a different meaning that in the West. An affectionate hug can make a Thai feel uncomfortable. He will smile but he will still feel uncomfortable.

You do not need to shake hands. Sometimes Thais who are accustomed to dealing with tourist will give you their hand - but that is a special case.

Thais use the "wai" as greeting - hands are pressed together in front of the chest, chin or forehead. There is a very complex system ruling how to wai whom. Don't use the wai. You do not understand the system and the chances are you will make a fool of yourself. If a Thai gives you a wai, just look friendly, smile and nodd. That's enough.

Thais consider the head to be the cleanest and most important part of the body. The feet are "dirty" in comparison. Headdress of all kinds should not be put on the ground. That rule includes your motorbike helmet! Hands should never touch someone's head. Never! Not even children. A Thai find's it odd to see Farangs dry their feet with a towel used for the rest of the body.

Never let your feet touch a Thai. And don't use your feet to point at anything, especially a Thai (be careful when crossing your legs!). Kick boxing is an exception to the rule.
 

This is a short list of things you definitively have to avoid with no exection:

• Don't complain loudly, don't shout
• Don't point at things or people with your finger
• Don't point at things or people with your foot. You foot should never point at someone, ever!
• Don't touch someone's head, not even children
• Don't climb on a buddha
• Don't point at a buddha - especially with your feet
• Don't sit in a temple with your feet in the direction of the buddha
• Take off your shoes before you enter a temple
• Be dressed appropriately when entering a temple (no shorts, no sleeveless tops)
• Don't cross your legs when in the presence of a monk
• If you are a woman don't ever touch a monk or hand him something directly
• Don't touch home altars or the like
• Anything that is related to the king is to be treated with respect - that also goes for the Thai currency showing pictures of the king
• The national anthem is played at eight in the morning and six in the afternoon in public squares and markets. Stand still until the anthem is over and keep your mouth shut
• Avoid appearing greedy or stingy
• Avoid dressing poorly, sloppily and wearing dirty clothes
• Don't use the wai to greet someone. You do not understand the system and you are an exception to it anyhow. Just nod and smile